


Benevolent Magic

by tjs_whatnot



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjs_whatnot/pseuds/tjs_whatnot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luna and Harry are sent on a mission to save a Thestral and her newborn offspring. They were not prepared for the side-effects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Benevolent Magic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tielan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/gifts).



> Tielan, you asked for a story of friendship, love and being different. I hope this is even close to what you had in mind.
> 
> Thank you Redsnake05 for your lovely beta assistance! You rock!

Luna Lovegood raised her head, smelled the air and instantly knew where they were. Hagrid had given her and Harry a list of places to look and they had just Apparated to the third on the list. 

“Where?” Harry asked, trailing slightly behind her in the complete darkness, his hands outstretched in front of him, as he measured and tested each step.

“Smell that? It’s _Miasmic Leonina_ , Stinking Lionweed. There are only two places in Europe where it grows and I’m sure we’re not on any of the islands of Macaronesia, so that only leaves the French Alps.”

“I can’t smell anything.”

“It's faint now. Give it some time. As you grow accustomed to the darkness, your other senses will heighten and you’ll be able to smell deeper, hear farther, taste stronger. You just need a bit more time.”

“How are you so good at this?”

Luna shrugged. “I guess it’s something that’s just stuck with me since the time spent in the dungeon with Peruvian Darkness Powder all those years ago. You spend enough time in the dark, you hold onto your other senses all the more strongly.”

Harry swallowed. “Right. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know... I always forget. And that is a shitty thing to admit, but I always forget others suffered just as much, maybe more during the war.”

“It’s really okay,” Luna whispered. “We all have our scars, of course yours are going to shine brightest in your mind, they’re yours. I spent more time thinking of what I went through than what you did. Does that make me a bad person?”

“No! Of course not.” Harry paused, stopped himself from tripping over a downed birch tree. “You’re right I suppose. I guess it just bothers me that my ordeals and scars were broadcast all over the world and others suffered silently and invisibly but just as painfully.”

“Well, that’s really not your fault. If you’re going to feel guilty for every headline and every medal heaped upon you, you’re life is going to be very miserable. Is your life miserable?”

Harry snagged his jeans on a branch and fell to the ground, taking Luna down with him. The underbrush of fallen leaves broke their fall so that after the shock, they both laughed.

“How long until my eyes get accustomed?” Harry asked.

“Any minute now,” Luna answered.

They stood up and brushed themselves free of flora. “Why do we do these things for Hagrid again?” 

Luna reached out and rubbed a bit of soil from Harry’s cheek. “Because sometimes we yearn for the sense of adventure with a modicum of danger and intrigue that only searching for creatures in need on Hagrid’s behest can provide.”

Harry reached up and grasped her hand, twining his fingers in hers. Maybe it was the sliver of moonlight peaking through the canopy of trees, or he was finally adjusting to the dark, but he caught the sparkle in her eye as he brought her hand to his lips.

“Yes, that must be why we do it,” he whispered against her skin. “And to answer your previous question, no, I am not miserable in the slightest.”

“Ever?”

Harry let go of her hand and reached down for his knapsack. “Hardly ever. You?”

“Never.”

They start walking slowly again. “That’s what I love about you.”

“The only thing?” she teased.

“Seeing the bright side of things and not dwelling on the pains of the past? That is a huge thing, but no, it is not the only thing. It is merely an item on the very long itemized list of things I love about you.”

“Yeah? You’ll have to show me this list some time.”

“Never.” 

 

They walked on in companionable silence. Harry wasn’t at all shocked to discover that Luna had been completely accurate about his senses becoming heightened. First it was his sense of smell. He smelt the upturned soil from the trees that had fallen in the last storm. Then it was his sight that crystallized and became sharp. He could see a golden shimmer illumination flitter around them and knew it was Snidgets. Finally the sense of touch. He felt the moistness settle around as they entered a foggy bit of marsh. Luna, whose senses must still be a tick faster than his own, cast a spell to protect their boots right before Harry stepped into the soggy ground.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. We don’t need another night of cold feet and fighting for the blankets.”

Harry smiled at the memory conjured. “I only wanted you to warm up my feet with your own, and when you wouldn’t, well, a war was called for.”

“You cheat.”

“I do. That is true.”

“Wait...” Luna held up her hand to stop Harry and they both strained to hear what had caught Luna’s attention.

In the distance was the sound of a pained whinny. 

“Come on,” Harry urged. “We’re close.”

He darted ahead of her and she urged him to be careful. “Remember what Hagrid told us about Thestral mums and what they will do when they fear their offspring is in danger.”

Harry only paused a moment, then he heard the sound again, a sound like suffering and soul shattered mourning. Both of them now rushed forward. Anything to make that anguished call stop.

They reached the clearing right as the clouds shifted and the moon was revealed in a swath of light to guide them to the injured party. A Thestral lay on the ground twitching, her back legs snarled in an obviously man-made trap. Beside her, balled up so tight they almost didn’t see it, was an infant Thestral. It was nothing but bones and shivering, almost translucent skin, breath coming in misty gasps.

Luna dropped to her knees and covered her heart with her hands.

“Luna?” Harry asked, getting down as well. 

Luna didn’t answer, instead she sobbed loudly, tears rolled down her eyes. “Mama?”

“What?” Harry asked, crawling to her, kneeling before her. Her eyes were glazed over with tears. He wiped them away but she didn’t seem to register his presence in front of her. “What’s happening?”

“Ma-mm-ma--” Luna moaned. Her hands reached out for something she seemed to be seeing in the distance that Harry couldn’t. 

“Luna, you’re scaring me.” Harry frantically wrapped his hands loosely around her throat, using his thumbs against her chin to make eye contact. She didn’t acknowledge him, seemed to look right through him.

His hair stood up on the back of his neck and he turned, trying desperately to see what she saw. The baby Thestral was staring at them with large, mesmerizing eyes and it dawned on Harry what was happening. This was one of the things that Hagrid had warned them about.

“Hey, hey Luna, hey, this isn’t real. Your mum isn’t really here. It’s the Thestral. It’s showing you the dead. It’s not real.”

Her hand was still extended passed Harry, her fingers splayed seemingly reaching for something. She gasped and her fist closed and she brought it to her cheek as if she was caressing someone else’s hand in her own. Her eyes still leaking but a beatific smile lit up her face. “Mama.”

Harry looked around and then back to Luna. Biting his lip, taking a deep breath, he bent down and lifted her up and walked her back out of the clearing. She screamed and flailed in his arms, trying to hold on to the phantom’s grasp.

However, the moment they passed the first tree, Luna stopped thrashing and went boneless in Harry’s arms, unconscious. Once he could no longer feel the creature's magical protections, he placed Luna down and went to the edge of the clearing. Working from the distance he raised his wand and released the trap. The mother’s leg twitched away and Harry could see the darkened blood oozing from the wound. He did what he could for her from the distance, a few soothing and healing spells mostly. They’d come back in the light of day when Luna was hopefully recovered, and perform more advanced magic. Luna was better at those sort of things. She had the knack, the art of it. He did what he could.

Then he returned to Luna, lifted her back into his arms and continued on for almost a kilometer, just to be safe, before placing her down on a bed of mossy undergrowth. Swiftly and with little thought other than their safety, he began setting up protective spells before transfiguring the woods around him into a suitable shelter. He looked around satisfied and exhausted before he lay down beside her, wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. Her breathing was slow and steady and his soon matched. 

When Harry awoke what seemed like five minutes later, the sun filtered through the branches of their shelter and Luna was stirring beside him. He ran his finger along her temple, pushing her long dirty hair out of her face, picking some of the moss from it as he tucked it behind her ear. She opened her eyes and watched him watching her.

“What happened?” she whispered hoarsely.

“Just what Hagrid warned, I’m afraid.”

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Surprisingly fine. How are you?”

She closed her eyes and a shiver ran through her. “Not fine.”

“Tell me what you saw.”

She kept her eyes closed. “It was like Hagrid said, her defenses… when she felt her offspring threatened… her particular weapon…”

“Death. The death of those we loved…your mum?”

She shook her head, burying it into his chest. “How was it for you? What did you see?”

Harry ran his fingers lightly through her hair. It was silent for a long time before he answered. “Nothing.”

Luna pulled back. “What? I don’t… don’t understand… you… we, we both can see Thestrals, we both witnessed death… have suffered losses… our mums… your…”

Harry pulled her close again. “I don’t know.”

There was another long silence. “Nothing?” she finally asked in an awed whisper.

Harry sighed. “Maybe it’s like you and your senses.”

She pulled back again to study him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, your ability to use all your senses more strongly because of your experiences during the war. Maybe my experiences with… well with everything, with the Dementors, the Resurrection Stone all of it… maybe it’s made me immune to that sort of suffering now.”

Luna studied him some more before saying. “You’re suggesting you have heightened senses about suffering and loss?” 

Harry held her closer and sighed. “Something like that.”

She shivered. “I don’t _ever_ want to get used to that.”

He shrugged. “It has its advantages. Suffering, grieving, it’s exhausting. You experienced that last night, yes? I don’t _ever_ want to be that tired again.”

“I guess,” she conceded after a moment.

“Tell me about it,” Harry urged in a whisper. “Tell me what happened.”

Luna sighed before beginning. “I’d say it was like reliving the experience, the moment that she died all over again, but it was more than that, more intense than that. I’ve used that term before, _reliving_ , this was not that detached, abstract feeling. This was being there, feeling the shards of broken glass from the phials she had been holding dig into my knees as I fell to the floor, reaching out for my mother, holding her in those moments that the fire of life was doused from her eyes. I had forgotten so much…”

Harry held her tight. “Tell me what you had forgotten.”

“My father is always telling me that I am just like my mother. I had forgotten that this was a thing that I knew without him telling me. I remember so many times that I would sit beside her, or watch her from across a room and mimic her movements, the way she brushed her hair out of her face repeatedly before she’d finally get irritated enough to scoop it all up and tie it back. She chewed on her thumb when she was concentrating on her work, when she was truly engrossed. Sometimes she’d forget that she had pushed her glasses off her nose and into her hair and would reach for them around her neck and there would be a brief panic in her search until she stopped, remembered and then would blush as she reached up for them. She didn’t know she did all these things and she certainly didn’t know that I watched all of it totally spellbound.”

“I’ve never met your mother, but I can tell you, you are right, you are exactly like her. And I know that because I have spent a lot of time watching your every movement, just as you did hers.”

Luna smiled and kissed him gently. Then she got up and conjured a fire. They would be spending the night there, best to set up camp while there was still light. Besides, she needed to think and she did that best while occupying herself with other things. Taking his cue from her, Harry began doing his share of preparing the campsite and preparing their meal.

Later, when they had eaten their dinner and Harry had returned from making sure that the Thestrals were alive and well, she asked, “Do you ever wonder how your life would have been different if your mother-- or in your case, your parents-- hadn’t died?”

Harry stirred the fire distractedly as he answered. “I think it’s safe to say that I spent the first oh, I don’t know, seventeen years wondering that. I can’t even imagine how completely different my life and everything that has happened to me and… well, the world… would have been different.”

“True.”

“What about you?” Harry asked, tossing the stick he had been stirring the fire with on top of the flames. “How different would your life be?”

Luna took a long time to answer. “I’ve thought about it a lot, but I don’t like the answer.”

“Yeah?”

“Truth is, I don’t think my life would have been all that different if she hadn’t died. It sounds awful.”

“What does it mean though?” Harry asked. 

Luna shrugged. “I just… I mean, of course I miss her and there are a lot of times in my life that I wished she had been there, but in the grand scheme… I imagine I would be how I am regardless. Maybe that means she instilled enough of her essence before she died and my father did an amazing job in filling in the gaps, or maybe it means that I refuse to dwell-- I suspect it’s a bit of both-- but I just don’t see too many things I didn’t have, I never felt the emptiness.”

“I remember one of the first conversations we ever had and you told me that the people we’ve lost, how they’re never really gone. Do you think that’s something to do with it?”

Luna beamed. “You remember that?”

“I remember everything.”

Her eyes glittered and danced, but she took a minute to respond. “Yeah, I’m sure that has something to do with it. I don’t think there is a day where I haven’t felt her. Either as a pat on the back or a warm shoulder. I make few decisions without wondering what my mother would think of them.”

“Do you think she’d like me?”

“She did like you. She used to make up stories about you and tell them to me at night. I never told you that?”

“Really? No, you never did. What did she imagine?”

“Nothing that was true of course. Those stories would not be a good bedtime story for any child. She told of a world filled with fantastic creatures, all with the task to take care of you and raise you. She painted a vivid land and a society of magic all created and given purpose with your welfare. They were great stories.”

“Wow. I must have been such a disappointment when you finally met me.”

“A little,” she said suppressing a giggle. “I mean, you only had one heart and not a wing in sight. Imagine my surprise.”

“We can’t all live up to the hype.”

“Did I?” Luna asked with a smirk.

“Yep. Just as loony as I’d been lead to believe.”

Luna faux-bowed. “I had quite a reputation to uphold, don’t you know? But seriously, did you really think I was crazy?”

Harry thought for a moment. “Honestly. A little. Just because I was trying so very hard to be normal. To be like everyone else and I was 15 and so not like anyone else and then there was you and you were telling me I was just as sane as you--”

She laughed.

“-- and I confused unique with crazy and so yeah, I thought you were crazy. Then I realized-- I’m a little crazy too-- and that’s okay. Really? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Luna stood up and came to sit next to Harry and snuggle up with him. “We’re good influences on each other.”

“We really are. You make me a little unique and I make you a little bori--”

“--Stable.”

Harry held her tight. “That’s it: stable. Though, I guess it could also be said that we bring the natural uniqueness and smidgen of stability out in each other.”

“Perhaps. And in the grand scheme of things, I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

“Not at all,” Harry said, his eyes getting droopy.

When he woke the next morning, Luna was gone, but the fire had been rekindled and a thermos warm to the touch lay beside him with a note.

_Gathering food for the Thestrals, be back soon._

Harry remembered what Thestrals ate--raw meat-- and his stomach turned. He wondered where she would get it, but decided not to dwell too long on that thought, choosing instead to think of drinking his coffee and scrounging through their bags for the food supplies they had brought for themselves.

One never knew what to expect when one was sent on missions for Rubeus Hagrid.

He was in the midst of heating some porridge when Luna returned. 

“I gave them their food--rabbits mostly--and am going to wait until they’ve eaten before I go close to inspect their wounds properly.”

“Sounds good. Hungry?” Harry asked.

“Famished.”

“Did you have any residual reactions when you were with the Thestrals?” Harry asked as he scooped some porridge into a cup.

“A little, but I was prepared. It was almost peaceful this time. Also, I didn’t get too close and therefore I posed little threat.”

“Good. You think they’ll be okay?”

“I’ll know more after I get closer and tend the wounds, perform some healing spells. Hopefully they’ll be ready to move later today and fly tomorrow.”

“Great. I can’t wait to get home. I don’t know how I always forget--”

“--you hate camping,” Luna finished for him. He did always forget, and he did always remind her he forgot. Usually about three days into any mission for Hagrid they took. It got so Luna only agreed to take on the assignments that would have them back, safe and warm in their own home within a week. One day maybe they’d have a proper vacation, but neither of them were holding their breath for that. They were hardly ever _proper._

They wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
